If you identify with us and think you may share our problem, we would like to share our solution with you. Newcomers like yourself often have a lot of questions about our program. This website will attempt to answer some of them.
“What is Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)?”
We are a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem of sexual addiction and help others to recover. Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and help other sexaholics to achieve sexual sobriety.
(Adapted with permission from the AA Grapevine, Inc.)
“Is SA Like Group Therapy?”
SA is not a form of sex therapy or group therapy. SA meetings are conducted by SA members using our meeting guidelines. There are no professional leaders at an SA meeting. SA is a program of recovery from lust and sexual addiction based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. Whatever problems we bring to SA, we share a common solution – the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of recovery practiced in fellowship on the foundation of sexual sobriety.
What is a Sexaholic and What is Sexual Sobriety?
We can only speak for ourselves. The specialized nature of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) can best be understood in terms of what we call the sexaholic. The sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction. Our situation is like that of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate lust but cannot stop.
Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one’s self or with partners other than the spouse is progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options. But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we could otherwise never know.
This will and should discourage many inquirers who admit to sexual obsession or compulsion but who simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and enjoy drinking. Until we had been driven to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop but could not, we did not give ourselves to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is for those who know they have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened self-interest must tell them this.
For What Is a Sexaholic and What Is Sexual Sobriety?
© 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.